Sherdog.com’s Guide to TUF 5

Last week Joe Lauzon (Pictures) from Team Penn laid a beating on Brian Geraghty and Corey Hill squeaked past Rob Emerson for another win for Team Pulver. Jens' team has a 5-1 record and retains the power to pick the match-ups.

After the fights, UFC president Dana White pulled B.J. Penn (Pictures) aside and asked him to make an effort to take over his team and train them harder because, "you don't want to look like Ken Shamrock (Pictures)."

B.J.'s frustrated too and tries to explain that his team isn't listening and that not having control of the picks is killing his team. Penn is on the defensive and you know what that usually means.

Back at the house, some of the guys pull out a hookah and get to puffin'. Then a keg appears and soon enough Geraghty is funneling beer. Luckily this bout of booze doesn't result in insults or worse.

The next day B.J. pulls a team meeting and announces that Andy Wang is off the team for not listening and being a hindrance to the squad since day one. This comes as a surprise to his team and especially to Wang since this came out of left field -- and by out of left field I mean directly from the conversation Dana had with B.J.

Wang didn't understand and went back out there to try and appeal to B.J., but Penn doesn't want him on the team. Some awkwardness ensues as Andy tries to get some explanation out of B.J. while the rest of team remains confused.

Now that he's off the team, Wang discusses his situation, offering: "I'm like a Ronin" … since he's a fighter with no master, Ok.

With Wang's status in limbo, Dana gets called in to deal with the situation. Most likely his assistant calls him, interrupts whatever multi-million dollar deal he's shaking hands on and gets him down to the office to make sure that some grown men's fragile egos don't fall apart.

Once he's down there, B.J. goes on and on about Wang and what a detrimental screw up he's become. B.J.'s got a flair for the dramatic on this one so Dana is stuck with a fighter that he may need for the alternates that has nowhere to train. Dana says that Andy has to be on a team so he takes him to see Jens.

Dana talks it out with Jens and then Jens in turn goes to his team. Jens pitches the idea to take on Andy as a new teammate and when his team learns it's Wang and not Noah they jump at the chance to take him. They are adamant that as long as it's not Noah they don't care. Ouch. The guys are shocked that B.J. would kick Andy off of his team since he's such a nice guy.

In the dressing room, Dana and Pulver tell Wang that they'll be switching his jersey; he becomes upset with the idea. He asks if he has a say in the matter and then tries to explain to them why he feels he'd be betraying his initial commitment to BJ.

Jens and Dana are stunned, as they can't come to grips with why this kid is turning down another great opportunity to learn. Dana tells Andy "this ain't Colors," which will probably be the funniest line of the show, and then launches into another vintage profanity-laced tirade:

"I'm completely f___ing baffled. You have another f___ing opportunity now to get back on another f___ing team and if somebody gets hurt, you get to fight! … These guys are f___ing training everyday. You can go home and do pushups and cartwheels and jerk off or whatever it is you do (points at Jens). He's a f___ing coach, his team is accepting you. I'd put on that jersey so fast his head would spin … get out in the f___ing gym; you're Team Pulver."

After getting read his rights Andy leaves the dressing room walking like a kid that isn't getting his way today.

We get to our first fight of the night and it's Wayne Weems (Pictures) versus one of B.J.'s first picks, Gray Maynard (Pictures).

Jens talks about how hard Weems has worked, changing his body from soft to solid in just two weeks. Jens says that Wayne has come a million miles since he first arrived and adds, "I think he has a good chance to win, I really do."

When someone has to go out of their way to give you a vote of confidence, it usually spells disaster. Wayne assures us that he's just a tough kid that loves to fight.

Meanwhile Gray discusses his wrestling experience, noting that he's been doing it his whole life. Gray's a physical specimen, in sharp contrast to Weems, and B.J. says that the one thing that Gray can't do is underestimate Wayne. He then goes on to say that Gray won't do that and furthermore, he will "walk right through him". Wait, I thought we weren't going to underestimate him. This could be bad; when you decide that the "walk right through him" attitude isn't considered underestimating, Weems could be in real trouble.

Wayne and Gray begin their match by rushing each other and Gray lands an overhand right on Wayne that crumples him. Gray grabs his prey and pushes him against the fence. Gray grabs a hold of Weems head in a lock that was more power move than technique.

Wayne's head turns red and once Gray lets go, Weems gets popped a few times before he gives up his back. From that point on, Gray flattens him out and pounds his ears for a solid minute until Herb Dean (Pictures) finally stopped the madness. It was over before it started. This was like a 1 versus 16 seed in a first round tourney bracket and Gray makes his way into the next round easily.

Wayne's pissed he lost and stalks his dressing room fuming. Jens says that Weems has guts and that "he's no longer a fake fighter, he's a real fighter". Weems finally cools off and says that he just wants to soak up all the knowledge he can in the following weeks and become a better fighter.

With that fight out of the way, Marlon Sims (Pictures) is back at the house claiming that no human has ever knocked him out. While he's telling his tall tales, Wiman and the boys are outside clowning him. Sims confesses, "I have many, many, many stories. They are all true."

Gray says after the inevitable Wiman victory, he wants to change Marlon's nickname from "Mr. Indestructible" to "hey dork."

Marlon's opponent calls himself "Mildly Attractive Matt Wiman (Pictures)" claiming he changed it to preserve his modesty. Matt doesn't say it outright per se but I'll guess he's a God fearing man since he refers to his skills as "blessings" and "favor." He claims that he fights for a living because it's what he's supposed to do.

Marlon Sims (Pictures) says he's been fighting since he was 5. Really. While the rest of us were going through the normal developmental stage at that time by showing our independence, tying our shoelaces and learning to form full sentences, he was actually fist fighting! It's a land mark moment for modern child behaviorists. When he wasn't falling down due to his body still acquiring a sense of balance, he still had the time to stand for something so as not to fall for anything.

Wiman comes into this fight looking like he's almost too happy to be there. He has an intense but amused look on his face that you might normally see on a stalker once their knife is plunged in your belly.

Wiman and Sims start off this fight by trading right hands but Wiman's shot drops Sims. Wiman pounces on his back, hits him a few times and eventually flattens him out and proceeds to choke him unconscious.

B.J. talks about how Wiman did the right thing by striking first, "be first, always be first."

Wiman's being a wise-ass afterwards when he acknowledges that, "beating a guy with 300 street fights is a boost of confidence."

Stand tall Matt. Stand tall.

B.J.'s team is able to score a few victories to get themselves back in the hunt and next week we'll pare down the field to the final grouping.