Sherdog.com’s Guide to the Ultimate Fighter
Scott Holmes Sep 1, 2006
Its 6:15 p.m. Central Standard Time and I'm driving home like an
Andretti on fire. College football starts tonight. I repeat,
college football starts tonight! It's the most wonderful time of
the year, plus my Dallas Cowboys are also on the tube so I'm a man
on a mission.
While driving like a maniac, my mom's on the phone telling me about how excited she is for her first trip to Washington D.C. "We're going to all the monuments and then we'll probably go to Arlington and I also want to see the Library of Congress. …"
I keep giving her "uh huh's" and "that's nice's" until the car in
front of me screeches and the brake lights are glowing.
In the middle of her sentence I watch a girl spin off the side of the Xterra in front of me. It hits me that I just saw a child get hit by a car. I mumble something to my mom and hang up. I pull over and rush over as this girl hops on one foot and I look down and realize that her foot was run over. I pick her up and take her over to the sidewalk and we sit down as she begins to sob uncontrollably.
I decide not to look down again and I try my best to distract her with dumb mindless questions and small pats on the back. The poor kid is more worried about her mom being pissed at her for running out in front of a car. Half of the time she cries out in Spanish so I throw a few "pobrasitas" her way and at least we both feel like we are trying to cope with the fact that her foot looks like someone took a claw hammer to it.
I try my best to comfort her but sincerity has never been my strong suit. We have a bonding moment as she grips my hand like her name was "Magnus" and she bites her jeans to get through the pain. I exchange nervous glances with the girl that ran over her foot. We agree that later we should both go get a drink. The cops show up and then the EMS and we hand her over to her visibly upset mother and they load her into an ambulance.
I shoot the breeze with some of the cops and then decide to head home. It's when I'm picking up the mail that the shakes begin. Those weird post-accident adrenaline shakes that make you feel like someone gave you a "Beijing Cocktail.”
I make it into my place and plop down for some football, but first I call my Mexican girlfriend and try to explain to her that I'm an American hero to the Mexican community. She's not totally convinced but she agrees to nominate me for "Gringo of the Year" if that actually exists anywhere.
Now for the next few hours I'm treated to arguably the best television this year since my Longhorns were in the Rose bowl in January. The Cowboys are on. Boston College almost gets upset. And GSP takes a tough one against B.J. Penn (Pictures) on Spike.
I should be in sports heaven but instead I can't quit thinking about how a 12 year old almost died in a split second stupid decision.
I don't mean to bum you kids out but crap that was weird sequence of events.
Anyway finally TUF comes on and I'm glad to have the distraction. It was rough to watch Edwin Dewees (Pictures) go through his bloodletting again but at least he hung tough and got a victory out of it.
This third episode begins with everyone griping about Shonie Carter (Pictures). Shonie's an odd duck and his constant need to entertain himself keeps annoying his housemates.
Shonie's shadowboxing in the pool; he's painting self-portraits and decorating clothes with a passion that would make your local homecoming "mum" maker proud. If you don't know what a mum is then just e-mail me and I'll explain it to you.
Team No Love's Jeremy Jackson (Pictures) laments that the losses his team has suffered is affecting their training. Jeremy is focused on during this episode, maybe to throw us all off the scent of who'll be fighting tonight. Jeremy explains that he thinks he will be picked to fight Din Thomas (Pictures) just do to Din's attitude and behavior. Jeremy thinks he can beat Din but he's looking to fight Chris Lytle (Pictures).
Lytle would be a tall order for anyone on this show since he's what we call a "tough cookie." Lytle is pretty much as well rounded and scrappy as a fighter you'll find anywhere and Jeremy wants the challenge.
Back at the house UFC 60 is put on the big screen and Georges St. Pierre (Pictures) comes over to watch it with the fellas. Last week I cracked wise on Georges's accent and half of Canada e-mailed me to say "sacre bleu" which is the equivalent of "shenanigans" or something of the sort. Anyway Georges watches with the guys as Matt dismantles Royce.
This fight shocked some people because they felt that Matt's strengths would play into Royce's game. Instead, Matt was able to use his power to overwhelm Royce and some of the TUF contestants were stunned. Matt Serra (Pictures), being Gracie reared was understandably distraught over seeing his mentor lose but chose to use it as motivation for his efforts on the show.
Back at the training facilities, Marc Laimon is brought in to teach some jiu-jitsu. Matt Serra (Pictures) isn't too happy to see Marc. Marc has cornered fights against Matt's coaching and heads may have butted. Matt doesn't like how Marc runs his mouth, specifically regarding Royce Gracie (Pictures) and especially since Marc's not a fighter.
Royce is arguably the reason all of us watch MMA and to have a jiu-jitsu guy disrespect him is especially insulting. Matt voices his displeasure at Marc's lack of fighting experience and the staff of Sherdog collectively tugs at their collars. HA!
Once again Jeremy Jackson (Pictures) is the focus as Randy Couture (Pictures) speaks of his strengths as a fighter. Dana White explains Jeremy's history with the UFC and they show highlights of his loss to Nick Diaz (Pictures).
Those monsters at Spike have tricked us since the teams get together and Team Mojo decides that Pete Spratt (Pictures) will take on Chris Lytle (Pictures). I gasp since these are two of my favorite fighters on the show. Lytle used to make me look stupid when I picked him to lose and he refused to do so. Pete's a Texan that I've met a few times and I love his style. While I'm thrilled to see them fight it just seems too soon. They both belong on the show but, hey, no matter who wins the loser will still stick around.
Some of the contestants feel that this will be a bad fight for Pete since these two have fought before and Lytle was able win by submission. Lytle explains that Pete has beaten tough guys and that it will be no cakewalk.
The fight begins and Chris immediately bum rushes Pete and puts him against the fence. The two are tied up for a while until Chris puts Pete on his back where Pete is out-matched. It doesn't take too long for Chris to get on top and sink a guillotine from the mount and Pete is forced to tap.
Pete is upset because he feels he's the better athlete and he's disappointed in his showing. He's right: he is the better athlete but Chris Lytle (Pictures) is just one of those fighters that are so skilled at all angles and has the intangibles to force wins.
I contemplate the fact that Lytle might be one guy to beat at 170 pounds and I flip back over in time to see Mike Vanderjagt miss his second field goal and my Cowboys are stuck with a tie. I let out a deep sigh and resign myself to the fact that at least I'm an American hero who helps injured children.
While driving like a maniac, my mom's on the phone telling me about how excited she is for her first trip to Washington D.C. "We're going to all the monuments and then we'll probably go to Arlington and I also want to see the Library of Congress. …"
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In the middle of her sentence I watch a girl spin off the side of the Xterra in front of me. It hits me that I just saw a child get hit by a car. I mumble something to my mom and hang up. I pull over and rush over as this girl hops on one foot and I look down and realize that her foot was run over. I pick her up and take her over to the sidewalk and we sit down as she begins to sob uncontrollably.
I look down at her foot and see two white bones sticking out each
side of the foot and her big toe is smashed flat with toe guts on
each side; it looks almost fake.
I decide not to look down again and I try my best to distract her with dumb mindless questions and small pats on the back. The poor kid is more worried about her mom being pissed at her for running out in front of a car. Half of the time she cries out in Spanish so I throw a few "pobrasitas" her way and at least we both feel like we are trying to cope with the fact that her foot looks like someone took a claw hammer to it.
I try my best to comfort her but sincerity has never been my strong suit. We have a bonding moment as she grips my hand like her name was "Magnus" and she bites her jeans to get through the pain. I exchange nervous glances with the girl that ran over her foot. We agree that later we should both go get a drink. The cops show up and then the EMS and we hand her over to her visibly upset mother and they load her into an ambulance.
I shoot the breeze with some of the cops and then decide to head home. It's when I'm picking up the mail that the shakes begin. Those weird post-accident adrenaline shakes that make you feel like someone gave you a "Beijing Cocktail.”
I make it into my place and plop down for some football, but first I call my Mexican girlfriend and try to explain to her that I'm an American hero to the Mexican community. She's not totally convinced but she agrees to nominate me for "Gringo of the Year" if that actually exists anywhere.
Now for the next few hours I'm treated to arguably the best television this year since my Longhorns were in the Rose bowl in January. The Cowboys are on. Boston College almost gets upset. And GSP takes a tough one against B.J. Penn (Pictures) on Spike.
I should be in sports heaven but instead I can't quit thinking about how a 12 year old almost died in a split second stupid decision.
I don't mean to bum you kids out but crap that was weird sequence of events.
Anyway finally TUF comes on and I'm glad to have the distraction. It was rough to watch Edwin Dewees (Pictures) go through his bloodletting again but at least he hung tough and got a victory out of it.
This third episode begins with everyone griping about Shonie Carter (Pictures). Shonie's an odd duck and his constant need to entertain himself keeps annoying his housemates.
Shonie's shadowboxing in the pool; he's painting self-portraits and decorating clothes with a passion that would make your local homecoming "mum" maker proud. If you don't know what a mum is then just e-mail me and I'll explain it to you.
Team No Love's Jeremy Jackson (Pictures) laments that the losses his team has suffered is affecting their training. Jeremy is focused on during this episode, maybe to throw us all off the scent of who'll be fighting tonight. Jeremy explains that he thinks he will be picked to fight Din Thomas (Pictures) just do to Din's attitude and behavior. Jeremy thinks he can beat Din but he's looking to fight Chris Lytle (Pictures).
Lytle would be a tall order for anyone on this show since he's what we call a "tough cookie." Lytle is pretty much as well rounded and scrappy as a fighter you'll find anywhere and Jeremy wants the challenge.
Back at the house UFC 60 is put on the big screen and Georges St. Pierre (Pictures) comes over to watch it with the fellas. Last week I cracked wise on Georges's accent and half of Canada e-mailed me to say "sacre bleu" which is the equivalent of "shenanigans" or something of the sort. Anyway Georges watches with the guys as Matt dismantles Royce.
This fight shocked some people because they felt that Matt's strengths would play into Royce's game. Instead, Matt was able to use his power to overwhelm Royce and some of the TUF contestants were stunned. Matt Serra (Pictures), being Gracie reared was understandably distraught over seeing his mentor lose but chose to use it as motivation for his efforts on the show.
Back at the training facilities, Marc Laimon is brought in to teach some jiu-jitsu. Matt Serra (Pictures) isn't too happy to see Marc. Marc has cornered fights against Matt's coaching and heads may have butted. Matt doesn't like how Marc runs his mouth, specifically regarding Royce Gracie (Pictures) and especially since Marc's not a fighter.
Royce is arguably the reason all of us watch MMA and to have a jiu-jitsu guy disrespect him is especially insulting. Matt voices his displeasure at Marc's lack of fighting experience and the staff of Sherdog collectively tugs at their collars. HA!
Once again Jeremy Jackson (Pictures) is the focus as Randy Couture (Pictures) speaks of his strengths as a fighter. Dana White explains Jeremy's history with the UFC and they show highlights of his loss to Nick Diaz (Pictures).
Those monsters at Spike have tricked us since the teams get together and Team Mojo decides that Pete Spratt (Pictures) will take on Chris Lytle (Pictures). I gasp since these are two of my favorite fighters on the show. Lytle used to make me look stupid when I picked him to lose and he refused to do so. Pete's a Texan that I've met a few times and I love his style. While I'm thrilled to see them fight it just seems too soon. They both belong on the show but, hey, no matter who wins the loser will still stick around.
Some of the contestants feel that this will be a bad fight for Pete since these two have fought before and Lytle was able win by submission. Lytle explains that Pete has beaten tough guys and that it will be no cakewalk.
The fight begins and Chris immediately bum rushes Pete and puts him against the fence. The two are tied up for a while until Chris puts Pete on his back where Pete is out-matched. It doesn't take too long for Chris to get on top and sink a guillotine from the mount and Pete is forced to tap.
Pete is upset because he feels he's the better athlete and he's disappointed in his showing. He's right: he is the better athlete but Chris Lytle (Pictures) is just one of those fighters that are so skilled at all angles and has the intangibles to force wins.
I contemplate the fact that Lytle might be one guy to beat at 170 pounds and I flip back over in time to see Mike Vanderjagt miss his second field goal and my Cowboys are stuck with a tie. I let out a deep sigh and resign myself to the fact that at least I'm an American hero who helps injured children.
